Thursday, January 10, 2013

Are y'all sleepy? Hopefully I will be!

Well, I had my doctor appointment yesterday, and I think it was productive. We discussed my various problems and how to best approach them. He is hoping that giving me better sleep will also help the anxiety issues, and maybe it will. To that end, I'll be trying a new sleeping med, Restoril. It's a benzodiazepine, and I'm only supposed to take it a few days at a time. Apparently this is another of those do not take alcohol while you're on this or you'll be SORRY pills, so it's just as well that I'd already quit drinking due to the Lexapro. I was never much of a drinker, so I don't miss it. I've always hated the taste of ethanol. I'd make an awful alcoholic, if it were even possible, which I doubt. How can you get addicted to something you don't even like?

Anyway, we'll see how it goes. I'll be switching back and forth between this new med and Ambien, and hopefully a few nights of really good sleep will help me. Last night I tried just Ambien instead of adding Benadryl and NyQuil to the mix as well (I have REAL issues falling asleep), and it was hours before I finally drifted off. This wouldn't be such a problem if I didn't feel so terrible with less than about 8 hours of sleep. 9-10 is prime for me, and I've been known to sleep 15 hours at a stretch (not including surgery, after which of course I was knocked out). Getting too little sleep makes me sick to my stomach and I feel awful all day long. I cry really easily and everything seems horrible and overwhelming.

He also told me that I should feel a bit more free to take the Klonopin he gave me. I've been trying to use it very sparingly, but in retrospect I should probably use it before I've got a knife against my arm, you know? He's got a point. I will try to be a little more okay with taking it here and there when I'm stressed out. It's so hard to tell, though. The anxiety comes in rapid waves, and Klonopin takes a while to work. I'm never sure (except for some exceptional circumstances) when I am justified in taking it. I've never gotten a high off of anything, so that will never be a reason for me taking something. I just want to make sure I'm not wasting it. He gave me 10 pills back in October, and I think I've taken three of them. I split them all into halves, and that seems to work on me. Just knowing I have them is nice, too. Kind of reassuring.

I also got antibiotics for my wonderful lung problem, so hopefully that will stop the stupid wheezing and let me go back to normal. I'm going to get flu and pneumonia shots this afternoon at the pharmacy, along with my sleeping meds. They didn't have the Restoril in yesterday when we dropped by to fill the new scripts, so tonight will be my first test of it. Apparently, like Ambien, it can make you sleepwalk, sleep eat, sleep drive, etc.

It's all very exciting over here.

P.S. It's really damn cold. It was sleeting or something yesterday evening coming home, and there was a nasty mess of icy slush all over the grass this morning. Patrick heroically chiseled my car out of its frozen shell, and I am hoping it doesn't snow over the next few days. I have a lunch date with ma deuxième maman, you stupid weather! You'd better not make me reschedule...


Jennifer said...

Wow - sounds like quite the successful doctor's visit. Here's hoping that everything helps! I know nothing about most meds, so why can't you take the Klonopin more often (or, better, why do you get so few pills)? Regardless, please do take them if you even think you might need them. I hate to think of you hurting when you don't need to.
P.S. - Lovely, helpful husband you've got there. However, it hasn't been above freezing for more than a day or two in the last month or so, and it'll be 7 on Saturday. Brr!!!

Adrasteia said...

Well, I CAN take more. I just don't. It says on there that I can take 1/2 a tablet up to twice a day as needed for anxiety. Mostly I don't because I worry that if I take too many he'll think I'm a drug addict/seeker and won't take my problems seriously. That probably wouldn't happen, since he's been seeing me for over a year now and knows who I am and what I'm like, but I have ANXIETY problems. :p Of COURSE I worry about stupid things like that!

He said I could have more pills whenever I needed them, he just gave me those to try. I think he expected me to go through them a lot sooner, and indeed he suggested that I try taking 1-2 halves per week to see if they make me feel better. I think I'm so adamant to avoid being seen as a drug addict that I'm deliberately cheating myself out of relief. SIGH.

Yeah, I think I will try taking them a little more often.

+Rei Bathory+ said...

I'm glad that it was productive for you, darling, unlike mine! XD This new medication sounds promising and I hope it works for you, let's hope the pharmacy actually has it for you this time, though! e.e; As for the Klonopin, I couldn't agree more with your doctor, darling, you have to use it! I can't believe you've only used like 3 pills since you've gotten them! I would've taken the bottle in a day! But of course, that wouldn't have been for anxiety purposes... eh heh... Seriously, though, you need to take it on a more regular basis to build up a tolerance so you WON'T GET ALL FUCKED UP WHEN YOU ACTUALLY NEED A WHOLE PILL! Sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you, darling! :p

I hope you get better weather for your big lunch this weekend, it actually has been pleasantly mild around here if this goddamn wind would would ever go the fuck away... However, we have been having cold nights and everything that's been melting has been freezing up and Rob almost wiped out going to work this morning thanks to black ice! O.O; It's really scary this time of year, darling! Be careful! A lovely evening for you! <3 <3 <3 *

+Rei Bathory+

Adrasteia said...

YOU ARE RIGHT, AND I WILL! hahaha You have a good point! I actually didn't think about that before, but I'm glad you hollered at me. :p I'm glad Rob didn't get in a wreck, that sounds awful! I hate black ice. It freaks me out (more than usual). Stay warm and take care so you don't slip! <3

Margaret said...

And your DEUXIEME MAMAN needs a hug! It's been too long. We are getting some snow here...although nothing serious yet. I'm willing to drive, as long as the temps are up high enough that I won't have to deal with any compact snow or ice. Glad that there's a strategy and that you're getting all those lovely shots. Ouch. I'm thankful that I got my flu shot in Oct, although some people are getting the flu anyway. (a lighter version I hope!) A samedi!! xoxo

Rachel Noel said...

If you need the pill to kick in sooner, you can let it melt on your tongue! Other anxiety meds taste like utter crap, but these are made to be fast-acting for people who suffer from fast-acting anxiety. They taste chalky of course, but it's worth it if you're really freaking out! I had the same reservations about taking them for a while, but then once I started taking them more frequently, I really did notice a drop in my overall anxiety. And now, I really DON'T have to take them that often, so it works out in the end. I wish you all the luck! I'm slowly getting over a cold my way, too. No coast is safe from the germs right now :(

Jennifer said...

It's not even the same thing, but I was like that with my migraine pills for a long time. I wouldn't take one until I could barely see straight, because I always wondered if my headache was actually a migraine or maybe I was just a wimp.

I just hope you find a regimen (drugs, Patrick, whatever it takes) to help you. Your anxiety is just so stubborn, and it'd be lovely to see you conquer it.