Friday, April 17, 2015

A couple treasures (at least to me)

As I'm sure you all know, I love American McGee's Alice: Madness Returns. That game is awesome for many reasons. One of them is Alice's ability to go into Hysteria mode when her health is very low. She takes no damage and deals a greatly increased amount. Basically it's Alice Hulking out.

This is what going into Hysteria mode looks like:

That video is a bit long, but it contains very good examples of how Hysteria works. You can see the gigantic amounts of damage Alice is inflicting while within that mode. The huge thing she's beating the crap out of is called a Colossal Ruin, and without Hysteria it takes FOREVER to kill. She does it in three smashes. Normally you can't use Hysteria that many times in a row, but in this case Alice is wearing a downloadable (extra) content dress called the Fleshmaiden, which basically looks like meat and allows Hysteria to be used at any time.

According to the Hysteria page on wiki (linked to above): Hysteria is an ability that grants Alice Liddell temporary invincibility for a short period of time. To activate Hysteria, Alice must be near "the edge of sanity," which is on her last Rose. However, if Alice is in the Fleshmaiden dress, she can enter Hysteria at any time, disregarding the amount of health she currently holds. When Alice enters Hysteria, she screams, sending a deadly sound-wave as blood splashes around her. All of Wonderland is now seen through a gray slate, and Alice herself gains new-found superhuman strength and temporary invincibility. This phase also removes the heat-up effect on the Pepper Grinder and Teapot Cannon. Her weapons become twice as strong and become bloody and wrapped in bandages; the Hobby Horse seems alive with vengeance and the Vorpal Blade is soaked in fresh blood from some new killings.

I want me some Hysteria mode. In addition: Hysteria makeup tutorial! Cooooool...

Anyway, this leads me into the first treasure, which is my Hysteria Alice figurine. She is by my bed to murder any nightmares that plague me:

The second is something I (FINALLY) found on eBay: a vintage bookmark showing the cast of Buffy the Vampire Slayer in a promo shot for library usage. No Spike, but one can't have everything... The project is (somewhat unimaginatively) called READ, and they have a lot of celebrities help out in an attempt to get more widespread interest in young adults using libraries (and reading in general). Heaven knows we need more of that. $2.50 for said bookmark? Yes, please.

A colleague of mine at work has an actual poster, and I have looked everywhere for one of my own, to no avail. Instead, I found a bookmark! It obviously is much smaller than the poster, but I'll take what I can get. This is what the poster looks like:

Kinda silly, but hey, whatever works. The bookmark is basically exactly this, although it has the text on the left side of the poster across the bottom instead. Slay ignorance, y'all! Read!

Oh yeah, and happy Friday.

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Who are you?

I encountered a situation tonight which brought into stark relief for me the profound inanity of most of my daily concerns. The instant I learned what was occurring, I immediately forgot every single self-disparaging thought I'd been contemplating and focused entirely on the actually important details at hand.

No names will be mentioned in order that privacy may be maintained.

This, to me, is deeply moving. I am so consumed by my stupid daily concerns that I forget how little I am living. Really living. This is it, boys and girls. We have no proof of anything after. So "Who," as the caterpillar once asked Alice, "are you?"

Who are you? Who am I? What makes you tick? What would you die for? More importantly, what would you live for? Living can be much worse than dying. It can be bloody horrifying, and I do mean that very literally.

What would you LIVE for? WHO would you live for? Who would you kill for?

Who are you? WHY are you? What are you made of? We are all stardust, but why do you shine? What makes you glow and your stardust-heart pound? What do you love so much that you can't bear to think of never being with him again, never seeing her again, never experiencing that amazing moment again? What is at the very core?

Who are you? What would you do to protect the precious creatures and things in your life?

What or whom would you drag yourself through the fires of hell to save? The answer defines you. And may be frightening. But it will be true, nonetheless. And it may show you things about yourself that you had forgotten or overlooked in the pursuit of daily affairs.

Who are you...?

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Baby steps

You know, for one moment tonight, maybe even an entire five minutes at a single stretch, I actually loved my body. Nothing hurt, everything worked, and I really appreciated it and everything it's done for me and that it can do.

Thank you, body. I'll try to remember this more often.

Vampire shoes and tights

I'm not just being melodramatic. These shoes by Demonia actually have the model name Vampire-03. They're surprisingly comfortable, once you figure out how to loosen the damn laces enough to jam your feet in. Nice big toe boxes, too. I wore them with very warm tights as it's been kinda chilly lately. 37F this morning! Brrr... Yes, I know. That's nothing to you country folk. For we city dwellers, it's kinda nippy. Enjoy!

Monday, April 13, 2015

When the night sky found the moon

...and refused to take her back to the heavens.

Chiara Bautista drew the sequel to her initial story, and I shall post both of them here for your enjoyment:

Wednesday, April 08, 2015


This dress I ordered arrived a few days ago, and I decided to wear it. Forgive the dirty mirror. Behold:

Also, my hibiscus bloomed and I only got one blurry shot before having to leave for work. I blame this on Gurgles, who wouldn't stop bonking me as I was trying to take the picture. Pretty!

Monday, April 06, 2015


She closed her eyes and let her mind sink down, down...filtering through the spiderweb cracks in his soul until she found what she was looking for: unplucked heartstrings. With ethereal fingers she gently reached out and thrummed one, thrilling in the vibrations it created in such sacred space. As her confidence grew, she played more steadily, one note turning into a cascade of them, pouring over each other in a symphony of what might have been.

And just like that, she finished. The last echoes died away and any lingering pain was gone, replaced with a fond remembrance of days past and long-vanished dreams. The spiritual fractures had healed, leaving only solid strength in their wake.

She smiled, then took her leave.

Be well.

Wednesday, April 01, 2015

So sleepy.

I could sleep for a month. Or possibly a year. I want to fall asleep all day long and then crawl back into bed when I get home. I'm hoping this sleepiness wears off soon...

Tidbit: ...although possibly tied with those warm, windy nights where the clouds race across the sky and you can feel the trees thrashing in your heart as they do in the dark wind. That's witches' weather. MY weather. 

In good news, I haven't wanted to self-harm in days. I began this new dose of lithium a week ago, and so far it seems to be taking the edge off of that. I'm definitely still plowing through the half-asleep phase, though. If it doesn't fade in another week or so, I'm going to see about going down to 450mg. I can't be sleepwalking through my life.

In the meantime, I really want to go back to bed...

Haircut tomorrow. I've decided that this giant mess needs taking care of, and I'm sick of the dyed part still being there. I'll post a picture unless it turns out absolutely ghastly. In which case I'll wear wigs for the next year, wig skill courtesy of Mrs. R. Irwin. <3